Tuesday, 31 July 2012

The Walk...

I was sitting under the Bodhi tree in Gaya, the same place where Buddha got enlightened. My eyes were filled with tears. It was such a pleasure to be there. My emotions were over flowing. Saw two monks slowly walking around the tree, holding their begging bowls in the hands. They were moving very slowly, being aware of the every step they were taking. I felt that it was just not their body which was moving, there was so much to it. (Let me remember what took me there. It was the book I've read "Old Path White Clouds" by Thich Nhat Hanh. I've picked my next destination as Bodh Gaya as soon as I completed reading that book.)

Went back to the monastery where I was staying and bought one of the small books which was there and started reading. There it was written about walking meditation. Yes, I have done walking meditation once in my yoga course. But, the real picture I've seen was telling me that there is so much more.  Lifting, lifting, lifting the foot from the ground. Shifting, shifting, shifting the wait of the body. Placing, placing, placing the foot ahead on the ground and so on.

It was not long after, I have put it into practice. It was the best during Vipassana meditation courses. The little time in between 10hrs of meditation was the right time to do this.

Always liked long walks. Used to go for a walk for around 2 hrs during  weekends. I preferred to go to unknown places. It's always been interesting to go on a trip without pre decided destinations. Isn't it good to call it as a destination where ever we reach?

Now, if I figure out my longest walk, that was while ploughing the fields back in my village. It was around 8hrs continuously. I walk 5Kms per hr that means 40Kms in one day. That was the exact number of kilometers a normal human body is built to walk. In fact, we've unlearned those natural abilities. I was just a part time farmer. The full time farmers do this very often. It is part of their life and culture.

"In order to have peace and joy, you must succeed in having peace within each of your steps."
-Thich Nhat Hanh

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

చిన్నన్న My Farming Mentor


Those were my pre-schooling days spending in my village and farm. There used be one person working in my farm and he is Chinnanna my farming mentor. He told me many stories and taught me how to do farming works.

One day I’ve killed one small ant which was on my hand. He told me that I would go to hell as I’ve killed the ant and started describing the hell. I was scared off and kept on crying. Then he himself gave me a solution. He asked me to go home and take bath and offer a coconut to the God asking for forgiveness. I went to my mamma and told her with tears that I wanted to take bath again. She started laughing at me for my childishness. But, I was very adamant. At last, she bathed me and called Chinnanna to climb the coconut tree which was nice and tall for the coconut. After around 27 years, neither the coconut tree exists nor Chinnanna exists. Coconut tree died naturally, but not Chinnanna. He committed suicide recently. That made me to recall those memories spent with him.

He left the village in the name of livelihood. Moved to Hyderabad the capital city of my state. I’ve left the village for the same reasons too. But, he was always there in my heart. I have been thinking that one day I would show my gratitude towards him. But, it’s too late. There is no next time for me.

What surprises me is Chinnanna being so strong mentally and physically, how could he commit suicide? I think it is the city which killed him not those family problems as everyone is claiming. He was happy in the village. That happiness couldn’t survive too long in the city life. 

I’m very cautious not to kill any ant or any living being for that matter. How many times, I’ve remembered you in these 10 years. But, I never could tell you and now I regret.

You are the one who taught me how to plough the fields and how to drive bullock cart and so many other farming jobs. You would have thought that I forgot you as I was busy with my own life. So what, you could have told me, we could have fixed together as we fixed our farming jobs.

Now, I correlate all those farmer suicides happening in our country. Now, it is my mission to show those village(r)s how to handle this hopelessness.
Good Bye…

Monday, 16 July 2012

Dreams that are haunting...

It was for my marriage arrangements my mamma and dad were discussing and dad went on scolding mamma. I got pissed off and took off one of my slippers and held it with one hand, went to him saying if you don't respect my mamma, I would hit you with this slipper. Just after that, I woke up and felt relieved to know that it was just a dream. It was also some sort of help to me to foresee the future. If I do any mistake, surely I would end up having such similar scenes for real again in my life. It was a reality many times since I was 15 years.


Decades have passed since I left the hell like environment. It is still haunting me. It is a gift given by my parents. Don't know what will it take to get rid of such dreams from my sub-conscious mind.

It was not very long ago that I dreamt that mamma was crying back in the village and that caused me a lot of disappointment and I was also crying saying that “I have saved money adding one rupee to another while my friends are getting married and having children. And I’ve come back home now. Why? Just to see you people fighting and crying. What a blunder I’ve made.” Started analyzing my plans after realizing that this was just a dream. Thank God, I’ve not decided to live with those people again.

My beloved parents never understood how much damage they were causing to their children. They always fought in front of us, used dirty language in front of us. They were like animals. No, I can’t compare with animals even. They take better care of their kids.

My parents also would claim that they looked after us well by providing food, shelter and education. What to say? It was like giving someone a beautiful picture and taking away their vision. You never allowed us to realize our potentiality with all your fights.

You both created all the mess and named it as family. It was my mamma’s stupidity. She kept on bearing all the misery at the cost of self esteem, at the cost of her daughter’s life, at the cost of children’s future. And here we are, the products of disturbed/disastrous family struggling to catch up with the world dealing with all the aftermath you elderly people created in our lives.

I wish I could write everything until I don’t get any of these night mares.

Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself. –Oprah Winfrey 

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Management (Part-2)


People should be working not out of the fear, but out of the respect you earned through your ethical values. A sense of care and kindness is required. Being a leader always should set an example how to be the best in every thing you do. Passionate follow ups are required. One can never be a good manager having distance from the staff even after being closer physically. How good are those managers whose absence is considered as a play time for the staff. 'While the cat's away, the mouse will play'. It happens when managers try to work out things with authority instead of influencing the people.

It is also seen that mangers claiming that they don’t have enough time. Well! If manger doesn’t have enough time to be a manger, it’s better not to continue in that position.

It appears that there is a lot of vacuum for good leaders. Again leaders aren’t born. They are made as everything else is made. The price is the hard work. “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.-John Quincy Adams”.

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Management (Self & Others) (Part-1)

I chose to contemplate on management today. It is the term much talked about. For me, it is more of self management. I believe that everything begins from within, anything for that matter. How can you think that you can manage others when you are failing to manage yourself? When I say managing ourselves includes waking up on time, taking food on time, going to bed on time etc.. Yes, discipline descends for some people. After all, it is effective management which helps us make the best out of this life, doesn’t it?

 I think it comes naturally, when you are managing yourself, you can manage others too. I will try to recall what I’ve read long ago. “When people around you don’t know how to do, you have a lot of work to do. Once, you have them doing what they are supposed to be doing. You have nothing to do. True managers do nothing. Art of management is doing nothing.” And also, it isn't "Do it, as I say." It is "Do it, as I do."

One should remember that no one wants to be managed. No matter, how sophisticated the manager is. We human beings long for affection and belongingness. The real manager is someone who constantly ignites the passion to excel. There is an opinion that introverts can not be effective managers. I disagree with that. It is just a trait of the personality. I don’t think introverts are like vegetables allowing everyone to cut in pieces.

Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. - Thomas Kempis