Thursday, 30 August 2012


I was watching my nephew's photos and felt little sad. I'm not part of that family. I'm not part of their celebrations/sorrows/misery. There are whole bunch of people who are called my family and yet I'm too far from them.

Am I regretting for taking a decision to stay away? Not really. If I compare everything, this pain is nothing. Much of my opinions were changed after meeting a German friend whose childhood was in Orphanage. Every culture has got it's own advantages and drawbacks. Yes, statistics say that divorce rate is very low in India comparing to developed countries. It doesn't mean that there are more happy families.

In my opinion, the first priority is to be given to one's own happiness. In that process, happy families are born and so happy nations. Quest for happiness means, changing partners? No. Then how?  Changing partners gives happiness is a wrong assumption. In that case, where to stop with which one? I'm only telling that there is no meaning in continuing when there is no respect in any relationship. I'm not talking about changing, I'm talking about leaving.

Question: In the West, many think that sexual relations between any two consenting adults are permissible. What's your opinion?
S.N.Goenka: That view is far away from Dhamma. Someone who has sex with one person, then another, and then someone else, is multiplying his passion, his misery. You must be either committed to one person or living in celibacy.

There is a lot to write. But, I'm going away from the topic I've started. Women in India, why they feel so helpless? Why they feel so weak? Is that the culture which brain washes to respect/tolerate till the end of their lives? The same mind set of our people enable corrupt leaders to rule the country for decades. No culture/religion on Earth says to compromise with your self respect. It's all our wrong perceptions. 

Monday, 27 August 2012

Day Off

(Written on 29th February, 2012)
February has gone already. Very soon the time will come for me to pack my bags one more time rightly (Need to pull out my packing checklist soon).

Been to the small mountain to see the Sun-set. It always give me a sense of freedom when ever I'm on the top of the mountains in the middle of jungle. It appears that there is nothing is needed to be happy or to live a peaceful life.

The life ahead seems to be more interesting. But, why not now? What is stopping? Do I feel the need of little more money? Felling insecure?

I was going back to my room after contemplating on various things and heard some music instruments being played. My feet just followed the sound and reached to one of my Indonesian colleague's room. Sat for a while singing Sa Ri Ga Ma Pa Da Ni Sa with the keyboard. I missed harmonium (An Indian musical instrument) a lot. Harmonium is the next thing I'm going to buy in India. I love it. I can't post pone it any more.

Always had a check list for my day offs so does today. I complete most of them regularly which gives me some satisfaction. People quite often ask me what do I do on my day offs. I've a big list of things.
  • Cleaning the room.
  • Laundry.
  • Reading.
  • Writing.
  • Speaking. (To whom? To myself on various random topics and I record it in my laptop.)
  • Typing practice. (I want to reach 100WPM).
  • Meditation.
  • Walking.
  • Some time on Internet.
  • Some times, watch movies etc.
There are no people waiting for me at my apartment. If it is back home, there would have been so many waiting for me to share so many things. However, feel nice when ever I reach my room. 
Me and my loneliness...

Friday, 24 August 2012

What is your world?

Chieko Akari
I was asked this question recently. Now, I'm answering. But, the person who asked this question doesn't exist any more. It was Chieko Akari who asked me this question. She left this world on Aug-15th all of sudden due to brain hemorrhage.

I'm sure that the inspiration she gave will last for ever. Her dedication and commitment during Kdham (We did diploma in yoga together) will never be forgotten. I still remember the way she recited mantras. She was the best. I felt so guilty at the beginning looking at my performance. After thinking about it again and again it gave me a lot of inspiration. Why can't I, when a Japanese girl could learn sanskrit mantras. Definitely "Can do attitude". I've asked her to recite mantras many times to record. But, she was shy.

Dear Chieko,

My world which I want to create and live is self sustainable world, a money-less world, a spiritual world.

To make it more clear, I want to live in a farm using solar energy for cooking and electricity, growing my own food (mainly vegetables and seasonal fruits), meditating rest of the time. I'll open doors of my farm freely for all those who have at least done one Vipassana Meditation course any where in the world. In return they have to work on my fields at least 4 hours a day.

I'm not far from making this reality. I've already resigned to my current job (5 Star Resort) and it was my last resignation. I'm sure you would have visited my farm if you were alive. I didn't have any of your photos until you left this world. Now, I've managed to get one.

I've recently watched a movie called "The Japanese Wife" and I was about to recommend you to watch this. But, it is too late now.

With peace and love,


Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Mama's Boy Friend

Very often, I hear this from my western colleagues and feel awkward. Some people even talk about their Mama's Ex Boy Friends.

It's like this in western culture:
(Wife to Husband)
Honey! Yours kids and my kids are fighting with our kids.
3 to 4 generations are living together in India. For example in my family there are 4 generations together. I'm always away being an exceptional (May be some people would be calling me westerner by thoughts). If I have to respond to it, I'd say that I'm neither easterner nor westerner. I'm simply in pursuit of my own happiness.

Recently, some people were saying that how difficult it would be to live that many people together. Stating that there are so many different needs from newly married couple to old people. Yes, I understood their point. However, this is one side of the coin. The another side is many folds beautiful and complete. May be it seems sentimental to western friends who have grown up with step fathers, step mothers and step siblings. It is far from reality to imagine living with grand parents. How materialistic people are becoming.

People ask me " Are you married?" my answer is "No". Then they ask me "Do you have children?". What? Children? I'm neither married nor I've children. For them, it is very common to have kids without marriage or bride being a pregnant. And also, I'm not forgetting that this is their culture, this is how they grow up. I would have been one of them if I was born some where in western countries.

Monday, 20 August 2012

The Bhagavad Gita

Finished reading The Bhagavad Git (Hindu's Holy Book) with commentary writtedn by Swami Sivananda. It was a long awaited wish. Finally, could accomplish.

Today, I had to wait for more than an hour for the bus. I went to the church which was barely filled with people, took out my Bhagavad Gita and started reading the last chapter (18th). I was hesitent to do that at the begining. Later on didn't worry about anything. If anyone asks me I thought of asking them to read the same lines where I was reading it was about renunciation. It was good to have that freedom to read what I wished even being in Church. Very soon, I'm going to understand the Church more better than ever as the book I'm going to read is nothing but the Bible.

There was conflict of beliefs while reading the Gita rather I should say I couldn't understand more than what I've understood. Surely, I'll come back to it one day. Swami Sivananda was seen in his commentary all along.

Sunday, 19 August 2012

Tips (Monetary)

There was a good couple staying in the resort and attending yoga regularly who have checked out (They could check out but they can't leave from my memories) recently. They offered me tips mentioning it is a multi cultural gift (in his own terms). I'll mention why it is a multi cultural gift later.

It was reminding me my first experience a year and a half ago. I politely refused a guest who was offering me money after yoga session. I told him "It's so nice of you that you are offering money. It's my duty and I'm already being paid for this." Later on, I understood the culture of the hotel and realized that people may not feel so comfortable when their tips are refused. It was busy time when I started working here. Started accepting monetary appreciation from the guests. I was happy. Because, I could leave the job and go back to my farm quicker than I've planned. However, I didn't take too long to understand that it only happens in festival season.

Once a guest has given me an envelop and I didn't open it until I reached my apartment. I found a nice letter apart from the currency on which it is written "In God We Trust". When ever an employee receives a written appreciation from the guest there supposed to be a record of it (Here they call "Wows, Hibiscus Letters and Aspects" according to the situation). However, my bosses have been too busy to do those things and lost the record of such many appreciations. I'll put my best anyway, I enjoy the process itself not the only end of it.

Now, let me come back to the multi cultural gift I was talking about at the beginning.  I opened it and found currency of three countries together. Felt guilty of taking the favor from someone. Again, I was recalling the words of my colleagues "It is a means of saying thank you". That way, it was the biggest thanks I've ever received from one guest so far. I pledge, I'll make the every penny count. I'll never let down the hard work of others. 

Monday, 13 August 2012

House Keeping

I was wondering if I can get a chance to work in House Keeping department cleaning rooms (Villas). I didn't know whom to speak and where to go with that wish. I got an answer one day on our notice board through "One Day Discovery Experience" program. Signed up very excitingly without any delay.  However, it took nearly 5 months for our HR to put this into reality. So what? Finally the day has come and I've worked one full day making beds and cleaning rooms.

In House Keeping Uniform
I was shadowing one of the senior room attendants who was nice. He was fasting for his Ramadhan (In India we call it Roja) and that made me to feel sorry for him. It was not an easy task to do while fasting without water.

I was in search of the experience I've got while cleaning rooms in BSY (Bihar School of Yoga). I found it no where. It took me whole day to realise the difference. Many times in BSY, the lady monk who was in charge of rooms found dust even after cleaning for many hours. At the beginning, it was frustrating. Finally, one day I've asked her angrily, "why do you see everything in magnifier?".  She replied, this is just not cleaning the room, it is also some sort of personality development. This will help you in real life as well. You will start considering every detail while taking decisions in your life after you go from here. Started, putting my best and smilingly accepted what ever feed back she was giving from that day onwards.

In the search of that experience, went to clean rooms today. There were so many distractions to be one with what I was doing. Everywhere, my mind was noticing things which were wrong rather I say ignorance of the people. Found around 12 half emptied water bottles in one villa. Who cares? Have a lot of money. However, money is yours, but not natural resources.

In one room, found around 11 pairs of sandal and shoes. Yes, they are not going to be here for years. This was all for less than a week vacation. Who cares how many shoes you have? People take so much pain to show off. One great man said, people live and die in trying to look good.

While cleaning the rooms, I was thinking that there are so many people sitting in the office doing very simple jobs until I spent my last hour in the HSK office. There were so many calls and other jobs which they were doing. They make and receive around 1000 calls a day. It's huge. Good that I've spent my last one hour in the office.

I was asked to give 5 minutes yoga session for HSK staff at the beginning of the shift. Yes, 5 mins? How can I do 5 mins yoga? No mats, bare floor and middle of the other stuff. However, did it for the sake of it. Not sure, if they all will get a chance to do yoga again.

I've asked one of the HSK staff that what would she do if she completes 5 rooms before her shift. She replied, I'd not do quickly, I'd take all the time for my rooms. If I did quickly, I'd be given more rooms to clean and I'll receive "Thank you". But, nothing else. I was thinking monitory incentives can yield more fruits. 

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Bus Stop

Always visualized being in a bus drive which is going next to the ocean. Yeah, it has been reality many times since I've come to Seychelles. Today, I happened to spend some time in one of the bus stops next to the ocean. I could sit there for hours. The ocean other side of the road. Sometimes, buses and some other vehicles passed quickly. Simply enjoy that waiting time always. People coming and going. Everybody around is thinking without talking to each other. Today, most of the people who were waiting for the bus were horizontally challenged. It’s always a meaningless thing for me to go through all the pain of having more kilos on the body. 
What to do? 
Everybody has their own priorities.